There Will Be Lulls

There will be times when you have no idea what you want to do. When life gets hard and all you can do is try your best at what's before you, even if it's not what you want to do. Determination is infectious, however. Once you start to do one thing, it leads to another and another and another. Creating the initial spark is the hardest part. The journey is where you'll find happiness and fulfillment.

Recipe of My Life: Words I Live By

 Ingredients:

- A sprinkling of Simplicity
- Just enough Balance
- Two cups of Compassion
- A liberal amount of Kindness
- A handful of Honesty
- As much Love as you can find

 

Instructions:

1. Listen better
2. Be more responsive
3. Be kind, always
4. Appreciate
5. Work hard, yet enjoy the journey
6. Keep in touch with the world

Midnight Thoughts, Not Dreams

It's 1:30am, and I've decided to crawl once again into the safe haven that is my twin-sized bed. Lying on my back and staring up into the darkness, I breathe a sigh, strip away all inhibitions and finally allow my mind to slip into its comfort zone. Those last thirty minutes of reflection before falling can go through pretty bipolar extremes; either I bask in wide-eyed childish reverie, remembering something incredible that happened to me OR I end up squirming in anxiety-ridden despair at the thought of a most embarrassing or frightening memory. If I wrote every single 30-minute-think-session into a chapter and combined them into a book series, I think it'd speak volumes about who I REALLY am more than anything else.

They say that dreams are the portals to the soul, a chance for your brain to delve into your unconscious thoughts, perhaps revealing your Freudian fetishes, deepest desires, greatest fears or impossible dreams, but I actually find that it's the moments when you let your mind wander semi-consciously at the end of the day that show who you really are. All alone, in the darkness and safety of your own personal space, there's nobody else around to judge you. You're not bogged down about what others think of you; you're free to imagine whatever you wish, whether it be violent and full of hatred or compassionate and dreamy. That moment just before you drift off to sleep is a time for your everyday conscious brain to reflect reevaluate your actions. It's a time when you're free to be yourself, both the good parts and the bad parts. It is my favorite time of day.

10 Steps to Become "Unstuck"

 

"I am stuck and have no idea what to do with my life."

 

If you've ever experienced the painful experience of being nearly mummified by overwhelming listlessness and confusion, or lately you've noticed that your inner compass has been oscillating wildly instead of giving clear direction of where to go next, you can guess what I'd diagnose you with. NORMALCY! :D

Being bogged down in a rut happens to the best of us at some point in our lives, young or old, wise or not. No matter how motivated or ambitious you usually are, you're bound to eventually get caught up in a seemingly endless circle of boredom and discontent, and yeah, it really sucks. That vapid feeling of emptiness, a desire to become better but not having enough patience to do anything more than wallow in self-pity, listen to sad music, scroll aimlessly through Facebook or Tumblr, indulge in comfort food, sleep, or go on a philosophizing rant. Where am I going? What am I doing? Why is what I'm doing actually important to me? What am I living for? When you're stuck in a rut, these questions replay and replay and replay until you think you're crazy, or perhaps worthless.

The suffering can last for a day, a week, a month, a year, or more than that. Some call it "being a teenager", others call it laziness, some even call it depression. A good friend of mine has actually defined this phenomenon as "circling", the process of getting caught up in a loss of interest that seems to have no end. I feel like this description is most suitable.

So how do we escape this circle and find another path, preferably a path to happiness and success?

I've learned a lot about how to break the circle from my most ambitious high school friends. I've been lucky enough to grow up among some of the most inspirational peers, friends who have inspired me to push my limits and whose work ethic and passion I deeply respect. During high school, they won international science fair competitions, wrote award-winning essays, broke state sports records, became the best musicians in New York, seemed infallible. These friends are now in college, studying at top engineering or accelerated pre-med programs, following their dreams of working for Disney, working on independent medical research projects, running for an Ivy League track team, basically saving the world.

We all know these types of kids, the elitists, supposed brainiacs, the superstar athlete, the most admired, respected, envied, and decorated students at school. During most of my middle school/high school career, those successful upperclassmen I looked up to were SO COOL, like enigmatic superheroes that seemed to be in total control of their lives who had it all. Oftentimes I felt too small to ask them how they accomplished what they did, and so I stalke-- ... uh, I mean, I observed them closely. ;)

While my friends are incredible human beings, don't make the mistake of thinking that they're perfect, nor that they have always had it easy. These friends have been victims of circling just like anyone else. They've hit disappointment when their best just wasn't good enough, suffered the loss of dear loved ones during their teen years, faced bullying at school, dealt with family financial crises and have even been through times of depression dark enough where seeking professional help was the only way to get better. These friends aren't always the happiest and are NOT just talented, lucky or born with greatness in their hands; what has made them so successful, so great at LIFE and so inspirational to all of us is that they've found the courage to pick themselves up in hard times, pushing themselves to achieve their best when it seemed that all hope had been lost.

So how did they do it? Although they all had different dreams and goals in mind, they've all took similar actions in sticky situations. Here are ten suggestions to becoming "unstuck" and motivated that I've learned from them!

 1. Stay Active

Not just in the running and exercising sense, but whenever something went wrong, they stood up to face it instead of cry about it. This is not an easy thing to do, but they did it gradually. Even though they were devastated, they came to school, talked to friends about their problems, and worked through their obstacle step by step.

2. Stay positive

The most successful people I have met always try to look on the bright side. Being a Debbie-Downer is easy, but to become unstuck you can't give into that. Staying positive keeps the spirits up, leads to laughing, and is proven to be infectious!

3. Set SMALL attainable goals, and made every action count

Not one of them said, "I'm going jump to the top tomorrow!"; this is just unrealistic. They did, however, handle what was before them in a timely manner, making every little step count, dotting their I's and crossing their T's. While keeping the bigger picture in perspective, they kept chipping away at what life threw their way every day even if they didn't want to.

4. Follow a daily routine

A lot of them woke up early, even on weekends to practice or go the extra mile with work. Discipline, pre-planning and structure really are important to feeling accomplished and proud of ones self.

5. Stay honest

If they weren't doing their best, they would outwardly acknowledge it rather than cover up their flaws. This also meant that they could recognize what they were doing right, their true progress. In the end, they knew that they were authentic which helped them believe in themselves wholeheartedly.

6. Remain humble

The real winners in my mind are those who follow their goals while maintaining humility. They realize that they are human beings with limits and always strove to help others when they could rather than make them feel small.

7. Take new angles

These are creative thinkers. When one approach didn't work, they tried another. When they got frustrated, they took a break to reflect and then started again. There's no point in beating a dead horse; my friends broke the circle by being creative and thinking outside of themselves, drawing inspiration on the little things around them.

8. Stay focused

These people were the busiest people I knew, but whenever they were taking on anything, no matter how small the task was, they put their entire energy into what was before them. Whether it was participating in class, signing up for driving lessons on time or doing homework, everything was done consistently and thoroughly with creative flare.

9. Follow your passions regardless of failure

They weren't quitters. They had a dream to create fuel out of coconuts, run their best race or solve some AMC math problem and stuck with it until the end. They kept their passion for the project in the back of their mind, opening their minds to a greater perspective. They accomplished their goals eventually, and it was worth it, I'd say :]

10. Constantly set new goals towards a bigger goal

For these people, it was not about attaining success or receiving praise. They realize that there is no end, and that success is found in the journey, in every little thing you do. This is the part where they found happiness :]



We're bound to get stuck in a circle sometime in life, but what sets the happy people apart from those who are in a rut of dissatisfaction is really a series of actions that compose a lifestyle. The key to being "unstuck" and becoming successful is really to jump in, follow your heart, do what you love, and just start SOMETHING. Taking the first step is probably the hardest; once you've crossed that first bridge, the possibilities are endless.

First Post!

Hello there! This is the very first post for my blog, "The Thoughtbook". Here, you will find everyday stories, life lessons and thoughts from the perspective of an Asian American college student.

The name is subject to change and open to suggestions. In the past, I had created a blog called Sustainability in Boston. Although I am still vividly passionate about environmental stewardship and justice and tend to spend a lot of free time surfing green websites or volunteering at gardens, I thought the topic was a bit too narrow and wanted to expand my blogging horizons.

This blog will basically feature the journey of a young life as I embark to discover the world, try to find myself, and live with a purpose. This is the beginning. I have no real expectations as how this will go, but I know that I am so excited to start fresh and express my mind! I really hope that you'll take some of these ideas with you in your daily life and share some as well. Feedback and comments are really welcome!

My mission for The Thoughtbook is that you can find something here that is motivational, unique or relatable, and become inspired to grow and learn along with me :]